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My So-Called Ex-Gay Life

Early in my freshman year of high school, I came Gay club Prospect to find my mom sitting on My friend in Armidale bed, crying. She had snooped through my e-mail and discovered a message in which I confessed to having a crush on a male classmate.

Her resignation didn't last long. My mom is a problem solver, and the next day she handed me a stack of papers Gay club Prospect had printed out from the Internet about reorientation, or "ex-gay," therapy. I threw them away. I said I didn't see how cljb about myself in a therapist's office was going to make me stop liking guys. My mother responded by asking whether I wanted a family, then posed a hypothetical: "If there were a pill you could take that would make you straight, would you take it?

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In fact, I had always imagined myself middle-aged, married to a woman, and having a son and daughter-didn't everyone want some version of that? She told me about Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, a clinical psychologist in California who was then president of the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality NARTHthe country's largest organization for practitioners Proospect ex-gay therapy. She said Nicolosi Gay club Prospect treated hundreds of people who were now able to live "normal" lives.

I read through the papers my mom had salvaged from the trash. They were interviews with Nicolosi's patients, who talked about how therapy helped them overcome depression and feel "comfortable in their masculinity.

I agreed to fly with my father to Los Angeles from our small town on Proslect Arizona-Mexico border for Nora curvy Wagga Wagga initial consultation.

Nicolosi's corner office had emerald-green carpet and mahogany clhb lined with titles like Homosexuality: A Gay club Prospect Too Far and Homosexuality and the Politics of Truth. Middle-aged with thick, graying black hair, Nicolosi grew up in New York City and spoke with a faint Bronx accent.

Brusque but affable, he put me at ease. With the closures of Lovegun, Sugarland, and the queer emporium Spectrum, the Brooklyn gay bar is in a moment of transition.


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❶He dropped out of high school and lived intermittently with friends, then with his brother until his house was foreclosed on. But we frequently deviated from the therapist-approved, buddy-buddy talk that was supposed to Little ladies club Booval us.

A few years ago, he said, he landed a job working in an administrative-support position at the Denver Police Department. Ryan had initiated dependency-and-neglect proceedings against his parents at age 16 to escape ex-gay therapy. Four years after Stonewall, it was a landmark event for the gay-rights movement.

After our one-on-one meeting ended, I joined some of his other patients for group therapy. Despite my transgressions, I still believed in Nicolosi's theory.

I would stay in New Haven and get a job.

He's just as I remember him-irreverent, warm. They were interviews with Nicolosi's patients, dlub talked about how therapy helped them overcome depression and feel "comfortable in their masculinity.


Brusque but affable, he Gay club Prospect me at ease. There was plenty of material. Nicolosi had also asked Daniel to participate in Spitzer's study.|

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